the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
