I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
