I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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