I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
