Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
