so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
