Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
