i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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