actually, I'm a sock model
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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