And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
