Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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