I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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