You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
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