Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
