I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
