this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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