i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
