well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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