Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
