thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
