I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
