i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Four minutes until I can fart!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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