matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I puked a lego.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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