u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We are two peas in an std pod
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
