Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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