he puts the penis in happiness.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize