"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
