how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
