Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
