OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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