I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
