Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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