Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
