I'm really into asian looking animals
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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