Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
