do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
