member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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