Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
