The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
