This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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