i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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