Whod you bang
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
