Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
