Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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