are you so shy because you have an std?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
