I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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