Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
