alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
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