Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize