I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
