i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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