R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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