she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
