was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this beer tastes like vomit already
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
