You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize