the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize