stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
