Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize