You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
