Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
