Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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