i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
