I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
