My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
